4 MILLION!

OH MY!!!!  This is the most exciting thing ever!

Washington Post Inauguration Watch Article

We are so going to be at the biggest party of the CENTURY!!!!!!

Only one question remains:  Parade view or swearing in/speech view?

I'm torn!!!

A ringing endorsement...

If this doesn't make pay for performance seem like a bad idea... well then I don't know what would:

Voters turn down teacher merit pay measure

Posted by The Oregonian November 04, 2008 20:51PM

Categories: Education, Politics, Statewide Measures

Voters turned down Measure 60, which would have required the state to base teacher pay raises on classroom performance.

Like nearly all of their peers nationwide, Oregon teachers are paid strictly according to their years of experience and their level of college education.

The measure was sponsored by Bill Sizemore, the conservative initiative activist who gathered enough signatures to place five measures on the ballot.

A coalition led by the Oregon Education Association argued that Measure 60 would require students to endure more standardized testing and pit teachers against one another.

---------------------------------

For those who may not know: Bill Sizemore is one of the biggest assholes alive hands down.  So if HE wants to do pay for performance... then clearly there are some serious problems.

Paper-mania!

This morning I was very forward thinking and bought 10 newspapers at Rite Aid and then 2 more at Caribou Coffee before 7 AM.

I got 5 Washington Posts
1-USA Today
1-NY Times
1-Baltimore Sun
1 - New York Post

Plus some others... basically I bought every paper that looked halfway decent.

Tomorrow I'm goin down to the Newseum to take pictures of the other headlines.

Watching the news, looks like almost all the Washington Post papers are gone.  Boy am I good :D

Bragging Rights

Not that I personally did all that much but... LOOK WHAT WE DID!!!!!

Prince William County:

• 56% Democrat
  
• 43% Republican

Manassas

• 54% Democrat
• 45% Republican

Manassas Park

• 60% Democrat
• 40% Republican

YES WE DID!!!!!!!

We just took a primarily Republican area and MADE IT DEMOCRAT AND WON VIRGINIA!!!

YES WE DID!!!!

I am about to go to bed, but I will send updates in the near-future.

YES WE DID

YES WE DID

YES WE DID

On that note let me just say the best moments were:

1) When CNN first projected that Pennsylvania was going blue (I cried a lil)
2) When VA was called for Obama RIGHT BEFORE the election was called (literally 10 seconds) and the crowd at the DC for Obama party went INSANE
3) When Joe, Jayna and I went down to the White House where a huge crowd was gathering to celebrate the end of the Bush presidency
4) Running down the street giving high fives, getting people to yell, cheer and honk their horns (they're definitely still honking right near my apt... woooooooohoooooooo)

We have just witnessed history. I can't believe that I got to be a part of this even to the simple extent that I was. The past 48 hours have been beyond fantastic and beyond anything I could have ever hoped for in my life. I hope that this is a sign that politics are back on the upswing for a long and successful time. BRING BACK THE NEW DEAL!!

GOODNIGHT!!!!!!!!

And for once I can say: I'M PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN (temporarily haha)

Election Day Mania!!!

So last night was... in a word: AMAZING.

The rally had approximate 85,000 people at it (by the estimates I have read in the paper) and here's the best part: JOE, JAYNA AND I WERE SITTING BEHIND OBAMA ON THE BLEACHERS!!!  That is like the super special section and was basically filled with volunteers.  We were the first group to go in because they ran out of jobs for us volunteers so they let us sit back there since we did show up to help out.  So basically we didn't do anything (well I did set up some chairs upon initial arrival) and got to watch the whole rally from an amazing vantage point!  (That and we were able to be seen on some of the major TV networks according to Jayna's sisters.)

It was spectacular, just being a part of that energy and happiness and dedication to politics for once!  Getting to participate in Virginia has been a real trip and it is exciting to get to be a part of this whole election.  I definitely will have strong memories of canvassing in Manassas and then culminating in the rally, election day and then *hopefully* the results/party!!!!  What a great opportunity we have, especially here in DC.

I got home by about 1 AM and was able to go right to bed.  I then woke up at 5:30 in order to get in line to vote by 6.  I was a bit sluggish, but got in line by 6:15.  Polls opened at 7, and I was out by 7:25.  Not too bad on the whole.  When I got out though and saw the line?! wow.  The line stretched at least 4 full blocks, multiple people deep.  It was truly insane.  Now I know the early crowd will bunch up and all but this is crazy. 

Tonight I am headed to the DC for Obama party.  I was just checking the website and apparently the event is full (I signed up a long time ago), which means 800 people have RSVP'd.  Crazy!!!!  My plan is to go to the party, and once the election is called (no matter which way) head to the White House.  It is going to be insane!!!!

Fired up!
Ready to go!!!!!!!

O(MY GOD)BAMA!!!!!

In less than 10 minutes I am heading out to be a volunteer at Obama's LAST PRE-ELECTION RALLY in Manassas Virginia!!!!!!!!!

I've been volunteering in Manassas for about a month now (just on weekends), so I took the day off of work and am READY TO GO!!!!!!!

A wee bit ashamed...

So today I did something that is pretty embarassing: I went to the American Idols concert. Now I did it because of Mr. David Cook, and I knew that I was entering a pretty awful place haha, but I bought the ticket anyways and it was a decent seat. Near the back of the floor in an aisle seat. Probably 80-100 feet away from the stage or something, maybe less. The show itself wasn't too awful (it could have been worse basically). Idols 10-8 each got 3 songs, while David Archuleta got 4 and David Cook got 5. In the end it probably wasn't worth it, but I went and probably would have regretted not going too, so alls well that ends well. The best part was when David Cook covered Hero by the Foo Fighters (who I just saw on Saturday! and who I was wearing the T-shirt for to this concert tee hee). He has a great voice, and when (or if) he tours solo I will definitely be there, because he was clearly happiest playing that song, and if that's the kind of stuff that makes him happy then he is my kind of artist.

Some observations from the concert:

• Basically everybody there was white
• About 3/4 of the audience was 12 and under
• There were a lot of older ladies there (40+)
• The girl sitting next to me was a moron, but well meaning and her mother was drunk and wishing she could have been drunker still... they also looked like the stereotypical middle america Jerry Springer watchin go America types. *ugh*
• A lot of people were like the ones I just described above
• I have never heard such loud piercing screams in all my life (thanks primarily to the tweens)
  

I'm never ever ever doing that again

Now on to watch the olympics!

V-Fest

Last weekend I went to the Virgin Mobile Music Festival outside of Baltimore. It basically was a huge music festival with a wide variety of music playing on two stages (North and South) plus one dance tent.

On Saturday I drove up and arrived at 11 a.m. and wandered around to see the layout and what was there. Basically everything I wanted to see was on the South Stage At noon I saw KT Turnstall who was actually a really good performer, she told funny stories and was just generally cool. She's also British, which I didn't know. After that there wasn't much I wanted to see so I wandered around and ended up at the dance tent where all the cool people seemed to be. I just watched people dancing and then went and got some food. After that I went to the South Stage and caught a band called Lupe Fiasco, who were a pretty cool rap group (or was it just one dude which makes him an artist? I dunno). After that came bloc party and I don't even know what I did during that show... I must have watched it since I wanted to be in position for the next band but I don't remember them at all. Then came the Offspring, a nice blast from the past. They were actually very good, playing a lot of their old hits, and the crowd went NUTS. Lots of crowdsurfing and mosh pit behavior. After that there was the Japanese Beatles, who were... just that. They were awesome and very accurate and full of smiles which was adorable. Then there was Chuck Berry, who was hilarious and wearing a sequin shirt. Then the band that I was there to see: the Foo Fighters. By the time the Foo Fighters came on I was able to position myself about 3rd 'row' center. I basically was on the board that is attached to the railing, which is a good position to be in. I had a lot of fun rocking out and holding on for dear life haha. Foo Fighters were awesome. They played a lot of their hit songs. Dave Grohl ran around like a madman and was generally hilarious and basically it was a great way to end the day. To top it off though I got really lucky. After the show was over there were a lot of leftover guitar picks on the mic stands. So the people tearing them down just tossed them out to the crowd and I managed to pick one up! It is grey and has a little symbol w/an FF! Very cool. A guy asked me to sell it to him because it was 'the only reason [he] came' (which is a really weird thing to say) but that would have been very lame, even though I did feel sorry for him because he seemed awfully upset.

Sunday I arrived at noon preparing to camp out at the north stage w/out moving the whole day (as in no getting food, water or going to the bathroom). To prepare for that I put in my contacts (a rare thing indeed) and brought 2 Liters of water and a bag of chex mix. I also ate a big breakfast of eggs and toast. I got there right before the first band on the North stage started, the Black Rebel Motorcycle Club. They had a pretty rabid following (though small) and this lady managed to push in front of me, but I let her because I got the impression she would leave after the first band (and boy was I right). After the show I asked her if she was leaving, she said yes, and then I asked her if I could have her spot, so we traded rather smoothly, no having to fight for a spot (there are often fights and lots of squishing when someone gives up a front row spot on the bar). So after the first band I had my coveted front row and practically dead center spot. I had to watch a host of bands I knew nothing about: Shudder to Think (weird DC band... the singing too weird really, but great music), Paramore (a girl rock band that also inspired quite a lot of crowd surfers but they were all tiny girls so it wasn't too big a deal), Taking Back Sunday was next, which a lot of people were there to see... not quite sure why though the lead singer was cool, they really just weren't that good for me I almost fell asleep haha. But then the show I wanted to see finally began. First there was Iggy and the Stooges. Iggy Pop!!! It is amazing that that man is still alive. His first big hits were in 1969 and he has done so many drugs since then he should be dead. But know he is alive and KICKING a true rock star. It was awesome to see all these people who had no idea who he was rock out to his music (especially the youngins who were there to see the bands that came before Iggy). But nobody could deny that they were AMAZING. Experience really does show. After that came the STONE TEMPLE PILOTS. The show was amazing, though really short (only 1 hour!!! sadness). They played basically all of their hits, they were amazing, Scott Weiland was all over the place and it was just sublime. After that came Nine Inch Nails. Trent Reznor is just great! They played a very wide range of music, which makes sense given the wide range of stuff from album to album. Some people whined during the 'slower' bits but I just ignored them because they were so wrong, all of it was great. Though admittedly by the end I was in a bit of pain because crowd surfers kept running into me and apparently I'm getting a bit older for this standing for 12 hours straight and getting pummelled and squished and stuff.

The only problem with this festival was that there were too many good bands playing at the exact same time. For example during Stone Temple Pilots (who I would never miss) played at the exact same time as Bob Dylan AND Moby. So while it was an easy choice (especially w/NIN coming afterwards) I did really want to see Bob Dylan and Moby as well. And during Foo Fighters I had to miss Underworld. And during Offspring I had to miss Citizen Cope. So I mean that part was sad. As I said they were easy decisions to make, which is good, but it'd be nicer if they spaced some of these bands out a bit more, or tried to match up bands people would want to see so that it is an easier choice.

Opening Ceremonies

I am currently watching the opening ceremonies of the Olympics and all I can say is that Janet was absolutely correct: China has mastered the art of getting thousands of people to move simultaneously with an amazing amount of precision. The ceremonies are unlike anything I remember and much cooler than anything I can recall from previous Olympics, which just seem cheesy and lame in comparison.  Can't say I love everything China does but damn can they do an opening ceremony.

Enemy Territory

For my diversity class at American University we needed to somehow go out and expand our knowledge of diversity, a fairly vague assignment, and then present our experience to the class.  I figured that this was a great opportunity to try and get to know my students a bit better by experiencing a Christian religion (since over 90% of my students are some form of Christian).  Therefore, in the name of expanding my knowledge of diversity, on Sunday evening I entered a church to see a service for the first time in my life (I attended a baptism once when I was pretty young, and I entered churches in Europe when we were visiting but that has been about it).

Because I know absolutely nothing about Christianity (aside from what I learned from Jesus Christ Superstar –thanks Andrew Lloyd Webber!) I tried to look up a church that might be considered traditionally black.  I couldn’t find out whether the churches were specifically black churches, and due to a bit of laziness, I didn’t feel like calling specific churches to find out when their services were, so I only looked at churches that had websites that I could find.  The church I found I was hoping would be primarily African American (mainly just because my kids are 99% African American), but I failed miserably on that front – despite the SE location of the church, it turned out to be very white with a small number of Asians and a few black people. 

Now the funny part, that clearly highlights my ignorance of all things New Testament, is that I picked a Baptist church to visit.  Now I had no idea that Baptists were Evangelicals (a.k.a: the enemy), so I was thoroughly unprepared for what I encountered. I attended an evening ceremony (which I found out was ‘very different’ from the regular 3 hour affair that they have in the mornings).  It was very organized: the pastor would say a name of someone in the congregation and they would head to the front of the church to tell everyone about something they wanted the congregation to pray for.  The pastor already had the back-story so he often asked pointed questions to get them to say everything they wanted to and then the people would say what they wanted the congregation to pray for.  During this the pastor would also say a name of a congregant and say something like “Jonah, would you lead the prayer for Kate?” and they would be in charge at the end of saying the prayer.  During this time some people were avidly taking notes, filling entire pages w/their notes on what to pray for for everyone who presented.

Now it was during this time that I began to figure out that this was an Evangelical organization, and by figure out I mean that it was thrown in my face and then bludgeoned me to death.  Up until this point there had been a few songs (not very good, but not very crazy either, just a lot of Jesus is lord type stuff) and then a few community announcements, it all seemed very friendly and very normal.  Then the stories began…

The first story was about a family who had a newborn baby (3 months or something) and started out by asking the congregation to pray for their wisdom, strength, patience, their child, etc.  This seemed pretty normal to me (by super-religious standards of course).  But then they began talking about how they had just moved to a neighborhood where people were very nice and open and they had great ‘conversations.’  Then they began talking about one of the neighbors specifically who they had talked to a few times and they wanted everyone to pray for her to ‘open her heart.’  Now this sounds semi-benign, though clearly what was not said explicitly by this family was ‘open her heart to Jesus.’  Then other stories began and they basically got more and more extreme, with many people openly asking people to ‘pray for conversions.’ 

Some stories of note:

A British man was visiting and he talked about how god had stopped the evil British government from passing a law that would ‘restrict religious freedom under the guise of protecting aberrant lifestyles’ (a.k.a. homosexuality)

A man was at George Washington University to give a 5-6 minute presentation on their religion (amongst other Christian organizations) and he asked them (via email) to pray for ‘mass conversions’

A bunch of trips to Southeast Asia where they had to be ‘vague’ on the details of what cities and what exactly they were doing aside from handing out pamphlets

A man who had organized an ‘interfaith’ luncheon with a Muslim group where apparently the idea was to try and convert the Muslim groups (although it sort of seemed like he may have just meant to increase understanding and tolerance, which would be a good thing – though later it was interpreted very directly as converting them).

A man who has started an American football team in Southeast Asia with the intent of using that team to convert the children to the Baptist faith

Then after quite a while we finally get to the prayer part.  Everyone bowed their heads, closed their eyes, and the individuals who had been singled out would get the microphone and say a prayer about the story (meaning I basically had to listen to all the stories twice).

Now on the whole I was very calm and respectful, although I was texting a few friends in order to keep my sanity (my friend Joe accurately said it was good I went by myself, because if I had had a friend there we would’ve been laughing our asses off).  But there were 2 times where I lost my respectful demeanor.

The first time was when the woman sitting next to me (luckily there was a small pole between us so we were still a few feet apart) led one of the prayers (the one for the guy speaking at the GW campus).  She was one of the more ‘passionate’ prayer leaders to give a prayer that night, and she went off on how she prayed that the other ‘fake’ religions would not be heard, ‘hundreds of converts,’ and then she went off on something about the devil and students.  I basically erupted into silent laughter that I simply could not contain.  Luckily everyone had their eyes closed and heads bowed, so they didn’t notice (as was proven when she shook my hand at the end of the evening and asked where I was from, etc.).  Now the main reason I was laughing is that in some ways she was basically talking about me, or at least what she would think I was, and she was using a wide variety of religious adjectives.

The other prayer I silently laughed at was the one about converting the Muslim group over luncheon.  I mean how unrealistic can these people get?  Converting religious Muslims who regularly pray?  Yeah… very likely

In the end, over 80% of the stories/prayers had to do with converting people, and only a small number had to do with personal lives of the families (like sickness, jobs, troubling times, etc).  Now I consider myself to be (as Joe has instructed me to say) someone who has an ‘unlocked mind’ in the sense that I am willing to listen to people but will then use my own judgment to decide what to think (this is instead of an open mind where you blindly accept different things people say and think).  I’m generally OK with people believing in whatever religion they want to believe in, BUT I am absolutely not ok in ANY WAY with trying to convert other people.  And I’m not OK with religions that so clearly promote intolerance. 

My mom made an excellent point afterwards that it is very easy to see how these people and their beliefs so easily translate into the need for Evangelicalism.  They believe so fully in Jesus, and heaven (and the rules that get you there), and that these are good things, that it is an incredibly easy leap to needing to try and ‘spread the word’ and educate/convert people so that they too can experience these joys.  But the fact that Evangelicalism has long been used as a tool for the Right as a form of social control and power grabbing that I simply cannot accept the outlooks of these religions.  I have friends who are in far more liberal churches that do not try and convert everyone they see, who do not promote hate and intolerance as a matter of doctrine, that I think Evangelicalism has to go.  It is based in ignorance and blind faith, and this is not something that should be promoted to the world at large.  If I were remotely religious in any way I would pray that they fail at everything they attempt to do.  And since I’m not, all I can hope for is that as we improve the education system, we get people to question what these churches are telling them and help people open their eyes.

To make matters worse, I had my short presentation on all of this today and was very calm and collected and basically just said that I went and did this, but I left frustrated and disappointed.  The teacher then asked why I was disappointed and I said that I wasn't big on the fact that they were praying for conversions.  Then someone raised their hand and basically said (I kid you not a TEACHER said) "well what's wrong w/that? They mean it as a good thing"  Now I decided to hold my tongue, since this was a fight that clearly nobody was going to 'win' but then another teacher said "it's like being a teacher, you have something you want to teach people" and my brain was like... wait... it is SO NOT THE SAME.  There is a difference between preaching a religion and teaching history, I'm sorry.  And there is a big problem with people believing other people are going to hell and therefore need to be saved.  It is incredibly insulting.  Anyways I figure that the guy who said that comment was thinking that I was being flip or rude in my presentation, which I really wasn't trying to do at all, so he was probably being a bit reactionary.  At the same time he clearly believed what he was saying.

The moral of the story: I can't hang out with Evangelicals they scare the pants off of me...

P.S.

I also have the best dog in the world, he lets me know when he has to go and needs access to a proper place to do it, and he's only 3 months old! What a good dog. Now if we could only get him to stop waking up at 6:30 a.m....

On another note, I got an interview at one of the best public schools in D.C. It was very unexpected and very exciting and I will know yes or no by the end of next week *hopefully*. (They'll call me and inform me if yes, and if no they may or may not call me... so we shall see)

HOLY MOTHER OF ALL THINGS HOLY

Dark Knight is....... AMAZING.  So amazing it boggles the mind.  The end.  I saw it at midnight and it was well well well worth it.

Pan Pictures and Movies!

I have gotten many requests for more puppy pictures. I have finally taken some more and uploaded the ones I already had and have posted them on my parent's website. You can find them here: Pan Pictures

There are also some videos:

1. Pan attacking Mike


2. Pan playing fetch (for the most part). Careful this film kinda shakes a lot


3. Pan playing w/his favorite toy, a stick, and even a little bark!

A great day to be alive...

...or not.

It is going to be a high of 97 today (w/a 'feels like' of 102) and humidity is at 20% (or more)

Unfortunately it is MUCH HOTTER in my classroom right now.  There is no air (unlike other classrooms in the building), only 2 windows open, and my room faces East so we have been getting sun blasted at us ALL DAY.  (in this case East is way worse than West facing windows because we leave so early in the day)

We have 1 fan, which is good because otherwise we would have to evacuate this place, and all the shades are down.  But god damn is it awful up here.  I wouldn't begrudge the kids if they never return, I wouldn't fucking come if it is like this, this is technically illegal, we are supposed to have A/C or they literally are supposed to close the building.  But since some rooms have A/C they probably won't be doing that.  Oh well, enough bitching.  I've gotten a lot of stuff put away, maybe later I'll bring it out to the car, like during 3rd/4th period.

J.K. Rowling's Commencement Speech @ Harvard

This speech is really beautiful (and fairly long, so you don't have to read it) I just wanted to post it here more for myself so I can see it from time to time.

"The Fringe Benefits of Failure, and the Importance of Imagination" by J.K. Rowling


President Faust, members of the Harvard Corporation and the Board of Overseers, members of the faculty, proud parents, and, above all, graduates,

The first thing I would like to say is 'thank you.' Not only has Harvard given me an extraordinary honor, but the weeks of fear and nausea I've experienced at the thought of giving this commencement address have made me lose weight. A win-win situation! Now all I have to do is take deep breaths, squint at the red banners and fool myself into believing I am at the world's best-educated Harry Potter convention.

Delivering a commencement address is a great responsibility; or so I thought until I cast my mind back to my own graduation. The commencement speaker that day was the distinguished British philosopher Baroness Mary Warnock. Reflecting on her speech has helped me enormously in writing this one, because it turns out that I can't remember a single word she said. This liberating discovery enables me to proceed without any fear that I might inadvertently influence you to abandon promising careers in business, law or politics for the giddy delights of becoming a gay wizard.

You see? If all you remember in years to come is the 'gay wizard' joke, I've still come out ahead of Baroness Mary Warnock. Achievable goals: the first step towards personal improvement.

Actually, I have wracked my mind and heart for what I ought to say to you today. I have asked myself what I wish I had known at my own graduation, and what important lessons I have learned in the 21 years that has expired between that day and this.

I have come up with two answers. On this wonderful day when we are gathered together to celebrate your academic success, I have decided to talk to you about the benefits of failure. And as you stand on the threshold of what is sometimes called 'real life', I want to extol the crucial importance of imagination.

These might seem quixotic or paradoxical choices, but please bear with me.

Looking back at the 21-year-old that I was at graduation, is a slightly uncomfortable experience for the 42-year-old that she has become. Half my lifetime ago, I was striking an uneasy balance between the ambition I had for myself, and what those closest to me expected of me.

I was convinced that the only thing I wanted to do, ever, was to write novels. However, my parents, both of whom came from impoverished backgrounds and neither of whom had been to college, took the view that my overactive imagination was an amusing personal quirk that could never pay a mortgage, or secure a pension.

They had hoped that I would take a vocational degree; I wanted to study English Literature. A compromise was reached that in retrospect satisfied nobody, and I went up to study Modern Languages. Hardly had my parents' car rounded the corner at the end of the road than I ditched German and scuttled off down the Classics corridor.

I cannot remember telling my parents that I was studying Classics; they might well have found out for the first time on graduation day. Of all subjects on this planet, I think they would have been hard put to name one less useful than Greek mythology when it came to securing the keys to an executive bathroom.

I would like to make it clear, in parenthesis, that I do not blame my parents for their point of view. There is an expiry date on blaming your parents for steering you in the wrong direction; the moment you are old enough to take the wheel, responsibility lies with you. What is more, I cannot criticize my parents for hoping that I would never experience poverty. They had been poor themselves, and I have since been poor, and I quite agree with them that it is not an ennobling experience. Poverty entails fear, and stress, and sometimes depression; it means a thousand petty humiliations and hardships. Climbing out of poverty by your own efforts, that is indeed something on which to pride yourself, but poverty itself is romanticized only by fools.

What I feared most for myself at your age was not poverty, but failure.

At your age, in spite of a distinct lack of motivation at university, where I had spent

far too long in the coffee bar writing stories, and far too little time at lectures, I had a knack for passing examinations, and that, for years, had been the measure of success in my life and that of my peers.

I am not dull enough to suppose that because you are young, gifted and well-educated, you have never known hardship or heartbreak. Talent and intelligence never yet inoculated anyone against the caprice of the Fates, and I do not for a moment suppose that everyone here has enjoyed an existence of unruffled privilege and contentment.

However, the fact that you are graduating from Harvard suggests that you are not very well-acquainted with failure. You might be driven by a fear of failure quite as much as a desire for success. Indeed, your conception of failure might not be too far from the average person's idea of success, so high have you already flown academically.

Ultimately, we all have to decide for ourselves what constitutes failure, but the world is quite eager to give you a set of criteria if you let it. So I think it fair to say that by any conventional measure, a mere seven years after my graduation day, I had failed on an epic scale. An exceptionally short-lived marriage had imploded, and I was jobless, a lone parent, and as poor as it is possible to be in modern Britain, without being homeless. The fears my parents had had for me, and that I had had for myself, had both come to pass, and by every usual standard, I was the biggest failure I knew.

Now, I am not going to stand here and tell you that failure is fun. That period of my life was a dark one, and I had no idea that there was going to be what the press has since represented as a kind of fairy tale resolution. I had no idea how far the tunnel extended, and for a long time, any light at the end of it was a hope rather than a reality.

So why do I talk about the benefits of failure? Simply because failure meant a stripping away of the inessential. I stopped pretending to myself that I was anything other than what I was, and began to direct all my energy into finishing the only work that mattered to me. Had I really succeeded at anything else, I might never have found the determination to succeed in the one arena I believed I truly belonged. I was set free, because my greatest fear had already been realized, and I was still alive, and I still had a daughter whom I adored, and I had an old typewriter and a big idea. And so rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.

You might never fail on the scale I did, but some failure in life is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default.

Failure gave me an inner security that I had never attained by passing examinations. Failure taught me things about myself that I could have learned no other way. I discovered that I had a strong will, and more discipline than I had suspected; I also found out that I had friends whose value was truly above rubies.

The knowledge that you have emerged wiser and stronger from setbacks means that you are, ever after, secure in your ability to survive. You will never truly know yourself, or the strength of your relationships, until both have been tested by adversity. Such knowledge is a true gift, for all that it is painfully won, and it has been worth more to me than any qualification I ever earned.

Given a time machine or a Time Turner, I would tell my 21-year-old self that personal happiness lies in knowing that life is not a check-list of acquisition or achievement. Your qualifications, your CV, are not your life, though you will meet many people of my age and older who confuse the two. Life is difficult, and complicated, and beyond anyone's total control, and the humility to know that will enable you to survive its vicissitudes.

You might think that I chose my second theme, the importance of imagination, because of the part it played in rebuilding my life, but that is not wholly so. Though I will defend the value of bedtime stories to my last gasp, I have learned to value imagination in a much broader sense. Imagination is not only the uniquely human capacity to envision that which is not, and therefore the fount of all invention and innovation. In its arguably most transformative and revelatory capacity, it is the power that enables us to empathize with humans whose experiences we have never shared.

One of the greatest formative experiences of my life preceded Harry Potter, though it informed much of what I subsequently wrote in those books. This revelation came in the form of one of my earliest day jobs. Though I was sloping off to write stories during my lunch hours, I paid the rent in my early 20s by working in the research department at Amnesty International's headquarters in London.

There in my little office I read hastily scribbled letters smuggled out of totalitarian regimes by men and women who were risking imprisonment to inform the outside world of what was happening to them. I saw photographs of those who had disappeared without trace, sent to Amnesty by their desperate families and friends. I read the testimony of torture victims and saw pictures of their injuries. I opened handwritten, eye-witness accounts of summary trials and executions, of kidnappings and rapes.

Many of my co-workers were ex-political prisoners, people who had been displaced from their homes, or fled into exile, because they had the temerity to think independently of their government. Visitors to our office included those who had come to give information, or to try and find out what had happened to those they had been forced to leave behind.

I shall never forget the African torture victim, a young man no older than I was at the time, who had become mentally ill after all he had endured in his homeland. He trembled uncontrollably as he spoke into a video camera about the brutality inflicted upon him. He was a foot taller than I was, and seemed as fragile as a child. I was given the job of escorting him to the Underground Station afterwards, and this man whose life had been shattered by cruelty took my hand with exquisite courtesy, and wished me future happiness.

And as long as I live I shall remember walking along an empty corridor and suddenly hearing, from behind a closed door, a scream of pain and horror such as I have never heard since. The door opened, and the researcher poked out her head and told me to run and make a hot drink for the young man sitting with her. She had just given him the news that in retaliation for his own outspokenness against his country's regime, his mother had been seized and executed.

Every day of my working week in my early 20s I was reminded how incredibly fortunate I was, to live in a country with a democratically elected government, where legal representation and a public trial were the rights of everyone.

Every day, I saw more evidence about the evils humankind will inflict on their fellow humans, to gain or maintain power. I began to have nightmares, literal nightmares, about some of the things I saw, heard and read.

And yet I also learned more about human goodness at Amnesty International than I had ever known before.

Amnesty mobilizes thousands of people who have never been tortured or imprisoned for their beliefs to act on behalf of those who have. The power of human empathy, leading to collective action, saves lives, and frees prisoners. Ordinary people, whose personal well-being and security are assured, join together in huge numbers to save people they do not know, and will never meet. My small participation in that process was one of the most humbling and inspiring experiences of my life.

Unlike any other creature on this planet, humans can learn and understand, without having experienced. They can think themselves into other people's minds, imagine themselves into other people's places.

Of course, this is a power, like my brand of fictional magic, that is morally neutral. One might use such an ability to manipulate, or control, just as much as to understand or sympathize.

And many prefer not to exercise their imaginations at all. They choose to remain comfortably within the bounds of their own experience, never troubling to wonder how it would feel to have been born other than they are. They can refuse to hear screams or to peer inside cages; they can close their minds and hearts to any suffering that does not touch them personally; they can refuse to know.

I might be tempted to envy people who can live that way, except that I do not think they have any fewer nightmares than I do. Choosing to live in narrow spaces can lead to a form of mental agoraphobia, and that brings its own terrors. I think the willfully unimaginative see more monsters. They are often more afraid.

What is more, those who choose not to empathize may enable real monsters. For without ever committing an act of outright evil ourselves, we collude with it, through our own apathy.

One of the many things I learned at the end of that Classics corridor down which I ventured at the age of 18, in search of something I could not then define, was this, written by the Greek author Plutarch: What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality.

That is an astonishing statement and yet proven a thousand times every day of our lives. It expresses, in part, our inescapable connection with the outside world, the fact that we touch other people's lives simply by existing.

But how much more are you, Harvard graduates of 2008, likely to touch other people's lives? Your intelligence, your capacity for hard work, the education you have earned and received, give you unique status, and unique responsibilities. Even your nationality sets you apart. The great majority of you belong to the world's only remaining superpower. The way you vote, the way you live, the way you protest, the pressure you bring to bear on your government, has an impact way beyond your borders. That is your privilege, and your burden.

If you choose to use your status and influence to raise your voice on behalf of those who have no voice; if you choose to identify not only with the powerful, but with the powerless; if you retain the ability to imagine yourself into the lives of those who do not have your advantages, then it will not only be your proud families who celebrate your existence, but thousands and millions of people whose reality you have helped transform for the better. We do not need magic to change the world, we carry all the power we need inside ourselves already: we have the power to imagine better.

I am nearly finished. I have one last hope for you, which is something that I already had at 21. The friends with whom I sat on graduation day have been my friends for life. They are my children's godparents, the people to whom I've been able to turn in times of trouble, friends who have been kind enough not to sue me when I've used their names for Death Eaters. At our graduation we were bound by enormous affection, by our shared experience of a time that could never come again, and, of course, by the knowledge that we held certain photographic evidence that would be exceptionally valuable if any of us ran for Prime Minister.

So today, I can wish you nothing better than similar friendships. And tomorrow, I hope that even if you remember not a single word of mine, you remember those of Seneca, another of those old Romans I met when I fled down the Classics corridor, in retreat from career ladders, in search of ancient wisdom:

As is a tale, so is life: not how long it is, but how good it is, is what matters.

I wish you all very good lives.

Thank you very much.

Copyright of J.K. Rowling, June 2008
2008 Harvard University Commencement, June 5, 2008.

(Pan)demonium

Pan playing around. My gosh he is so cute! He went on his first walk today (3/4 of a block x 2) and he did a great job! He followed me and barely whined at all. So slowly but surely he is learning. Today was also his first long stint alone 10:30 - 4:30. He did well, when I got back there were no messes and I wasn't able to hear him in the hallway. That being said, I don't think he drank all that much because he was a bit nervous. But when I got home I fed him and gave him more water, so he was OK.

Otherwise class is going well, with only 1.5 weeks left we are seriously winding down, but attendance has not dwindled like the kids promised :D so that is good. Also they are beginning to turn in their assignments! Also good. Only 4th period is having a hard time, and my guess is it is the last period of the day and there aren't that many of them, so sometimes it is hard for them to get up the energy to keep goin.

Oh and Pan is officially a great name. Mike in particular has thought of many other great nicknames:

• Pandemonium (Mike)
  
• Pandemic (Mike)
  
• Panty Raid (Mike) and
  
• Panopticon (Mine)

are my favorites

Puppy!

SO CUTE. And sorta on and off napping right now. He's a bit of a whiner, but otherwise PERFECT :D

Love him so so much

Bro!

Mike is in DC w/Sarah. They are sleeping in my living room on a blow up mattress. It has made the living room very crowded, but it will work out great. They're staying for over a week (which is exciting). Today they went down to the National Mall while I'm at work, but I have taken Friday and Monday off in order to spend time w/them and.... THE PUPPY!!!!!

I am getting the puppy on Sunday. His name is going to be Pantalaimon (although I will never call him that, he will go by Pan). Janet and I have thought of some great nicknames for him as well such as 'skillet' (Janet) and 'griddle' (me) or just 'bacon' (that one was Janet's haha)... basically any number of kitchen wares. Also Bethany suggested that I could dress him up as Peter Pan for Halloween :) so the name has many different facets which is awesome. Even better is that I doubt it is a very common name for a dog, so he won't be getting confused w/other puppies at the park tee hee.

For those of you who don't know, Pan is a daemon from the Golden Compass. He was the visible 'soul' of the main character, and primarily took the shape of an ermine. He was one of my favorite characters in the book, and I figured a mini dachshund looks kinda similar to an ermine in some ways (body shape at least).

Mike and Sarah will be coming w/me to get the dog and they're going to help me take care of him while I have to work that first week! Which is awesome. Then I'll be spending a lot of time w/the puppy. I am SO EXCITED it is crazy.

My current desktop:

Sounds crazy on paper

So this week has been a little crazy in terms of what has happened at the school, but as I shall relate, it is relatively boring in the classroom.

So on Monday, Wednesday and now today (Thursday) we have missed 3rd period due to fires throughout the building.  Monday's was in the boys locker room on the ground floor (we could smell the smoke in the stairwell); Wednesday's was on the 2nd floor in a stairwell not too far from my room (though I didn't actually notice it); and today's was on the 4th floor.  This has meant that 4th period has ceased to exist basically (for me).  And we all go outside and stand/sit around for an hour or two and then move into the auditorium and wait for either the next period or school to be over.

On top of all this, today there were several more disruptions.  First there was a pre-planned 'health fair day' at Woodson.  This involved a play about teen pregnancies (which some of my students were in) and a series of tables set up to talk about different health issues/services.  This took up all of 2nd period.  

Then during lunch we got this announcement that 'the school was in lockdown.'  Now this was the first time we've ever heard that over the PA system, so I assumed it had to do w/kids acting crazy because of the fair and then running loose in the halls during lunch.  Then several kids came up and were all like "there's a HUGE fight in the cafeteria and they've got guns!!!"  Now I don't take the kids too seriously when they talk like this since rumors spread like wildfire and are almost always ridiculously exaggerated.  And this was not an exception.  Turns out two things were going on at once.  First of all there was a large fight in the cafeteria involving 30+ students which involved several actual arrests due to the level of violence.  This led to students who were 'up in the tower' to be blocked from re-entering the cafeteria by police (which led them to believe there were guns, etc.).  At the SAME TIME there was apparently some fighting taking place between two neighborhood rival gangs that did involve gun fighting, which caused the school to be on lockdown in order to keep the students in the building and away from the fighting that was taking place somewhere nearby-ish (though I didn't hear anything and my windows were open).  This also led to us not being allowed to sit on the bleachers when we left for the fire since we 'didn't want to be targets' for gunfire, so we had to stand under the bleachers.

Anyways, all this led to was one boring day for me.  I basically sat around, read the news and didn't really feel like grading (which I suppose I could have done).  I talked w/some of my kids about Harry Potter and other great science fiction books though, and that made me feel good to know that a) some kids have great taste and b) some kids still read!!  

Tomorrow are parent-teacher conferences.  I am banking on a 0% attendance rate for my kids since I have upper-classmen this term.  That means  yet another day w/no instruction and nothing to do but grade (which I will actually do this time).

What is this job security you speak of?

So apparently I may be out of a job at this school (though not DCPS since I am guaranteed a job through them). The problem is that our school is moving (due to the destruction of our current building), most of the high schools are being restructured under No Child Left Behind, and now with the creation of the 9th grade academies throughout DCPS we are not supposed to recruit 9th graders (cutting us off from a much needed supply of people). This leaves us filling both the leaving seniors and taking in the same number of 10-12 graders that we would have taken in in 9th graders (if that made any sense). This is unlikely to happen meaning that all the teachers who are doubled up on a subject will go first (due to not having a big enough budget to pay for all of us), and this will probably mean that I will have to go first. Since social studies is not as high up on the importance list as English (due to testing priorities primarily) and there are 2 teachers on Social Studies right now. So basically unless Ms. Scott leaves, I really doubt that I would have a job. So basically I need to secure one somewhere else as far as I am concerned. Lucky for me there is a job fair this Saturday. So back to the old resume! Man I haven't looked at this since last summer... *sigh* needs some updates

help / hide help

A few random musings

So Friday I went out to a UChicago Alumni fundraising event. It was pretty fun. Then once I got home I stayed up for a bit and around 2 AM my buzzer started... well making the really scary/loud/obnoxious noise that it makes when someone is calling on my apartment. I ignored it, but they kept pressing it, so I pressed talk and said ya know 'hello' but there was no answer. Now I wouldn't think much of it, but then TONIGHT someone buzzed my apartment again around 8 PM and when I went up it was a delivery guy, but I definitely did not order anything. If something happens tomorrow I am going to go crazy haha. I hope it isn't like a student or something, I'm pretty damn sure I never gave out my address and I have no idea how they would have gotten it.

On another note... ok no I totally forgot what I was going to say, so I guess that is it.

Not too bright...

A student who has failed (or gotten a D at best) in 3/5 of the classes she has taken w/me due to a lack of effort and work ethic has asked me for a recommendation to an internship. This is the same student who comes late every single day and only ever does the bare minimum of effort on any assignment. I told her I would but that I would be honest. Apparently that didn't phase her.

My letter is probably too nice as it stands, but I did say that I have "major reservations" about her and "cannot wholeheartedly recommend her to this program."

There are 2 reasons I didn't say no outright (which in retrospect I probably should have)

1. She is already a pain in the ass, if I refuse to do this for her she'll probably become even more of one.
2. She showed up with another student who also asked for a rec and who I will give a good one, so it felt weird to say no to one and yes to the other that publicly.

I should have just said no... *sigh*

*Edit 9 AM* After writing this, I decided that I needed to point out her excessive tardiness and not turning in major assignments, and the only nice thing I said was that maybe this job could help turn her around. Ok this rec is now worthless. I don't really know what to do here. I guess I can just tell her I really didn't have much nice to say and face the consequences in class. Only 1.5 months left anyways!

*Edit 10:26 AM* She hasn't asked for the rec yet, maybe she won't want it or remember.

Title of my blog is seriously true

So I haven't updated in a long time, but I survived testing week (we had 3 hour 2nd period classes-which was INSANE).

Everything is going along fine, but really busy.

Nothing of note to report.

Oh dear

When reading this, please do not worry about me. I am doing quite well and am as back to normal as ever.

I had a pretty rough week, which culminated in a negative event on Friday during my lunch period.

Firstly, all week my students were acting pretty crazy. They refused to listen to any directions, they were being ridiculously disrespectful and I was just beginning to lose my cool.

On Friday I had "the talk" about 2 times and both times they listened for about 2 seconds then went back to doing exactly what they were doing before.

Then 'the event' happened. One of my regular lunch participants and student was sitting in his regular spot as normal (We will call him boy 1). I was behind him facing the computers, helping one of my students log on. Then a 2nd boy came in (boy 2) and placed his entire arm around boy 1's head sort of choking him. A few students commented on it and I turned around and told boy 2 to "take his hands off of boy 1" and when he didn't I went over, placed my hand on his shoulder and repeated my directions. He finally did what I asked but then boy 1 (who had his back to us) stood up, turned around and tried to either hit or push boy 2. But instead of hitting boy 2 he hit me (since I was standing right there) right in the face (around the cheek bone). It wasn't very hard and there is absolutely no physical damage, it didn't even hurt. Instead I was simply shocked that this was happening in the first place.

Due to a myriad of factors, I 'lost my cool' to put it lightly and began swearing like a sailor and crying really hard. First I told boy 2 to "get the f*** out of my room" and then went off on how none of the students "f***ing respected me" etc. etc. Now this was clearly not the way to react but basically that event was the big straw that broke the camel's back. I mean the kids think all their shenanigans are really funny, but all they are is draining. I was also crying a lot and couldn't even look at any of my students without bursting into tears again so I just walked out of the room entering a few times to grab my cell phone and my laptop. This lasted about an hour and I talked with several administrators, security, other teachers and my dad.

Everyone was very supportive of me and had nice words of both encouragement and advice, all of which were appreciated. Many of the kids were also quite concerned since they had never seen me act that way and some of them were afraid I was going to leave and never come back (while that thought never even entered my mind, I did consider leaving for the rest of the day if I couldn't pull myself together, though that turned out to be unnecessary since I did manage to get a hold of myself after a while). It is hard not to take what the kids do personally even if I know that is what I have to do. They're kids, they aren't talking to each other to hurt my feelings, they are just talking to each other because that is what they want to do. But when I work so hard and they give me nothing, it just makes me so upset. I don't ask for much and they won't even give me that. I know that I can't change who they are overnight and make them into respectful human beings, but they're just so awful sometimes that it really drives me crazy.

Needless to say some new rules are being imposed for 2nd period and lunch time. I can only do so much, it is true, but I have to try to change things around because it is getting ridiculous and it has to stop if we are going to function until the end of the school year.

But as I said before I am perfectly fine now, I got a lot of the emotions out of my system and I am back on track for dealing with the students. What happened was an accident, and while the students will be getting in serious trouble for fighting, I am not going to add any additional burdens because I was physically involved.

I greatly respect and care about my students, I just wish that sometimes they could give me a little respect back.

OFFICIALLY ANGRY

THIS ENTRY IS GOING TO BE IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE I AM FUCKING PISSED OFF.

Ok maybe not, but now you get my point.

Just 45 minutes ago at the end of lunch I got into my perpetual argument about why students shouldn't use words like gay as a slur and the argument devolved into a discussion on evolution. Lunch was over and students were heading to their classrooms and I was in the hallway. The teacher next door (Ms. Scott - the world's possibly dumbest social studies teacher) came out and asked what we were talking about. We told her, and she said that I SHOULD NOT be giving my opinion on religious matters. RELIGIOUS MATTERS?!?!?!!?!? And she tried to quote the Constitution at me. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS. This woman wouldn't know the Constitution if it hit her in the face. Repeatedly, which was what I was thinking of doing. HOW MANY TIMES have they talked about JESUS and GODS WORD to the students. HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES. And how often have I openly complained to their faces?! what is that? Never? WHY YES. NEVER. NOT ONE FUCKING TIME. Even though I am WELL within my rights to do that.

And what exactly was I doing?! Oh that's right... TALKING ABOUT EVOLUTION. A SCIENTIFIC FACT YOU OBTUSE NON-QUESTIONING PEOPLE.

Believe in religion all you want. That's your choice. But DON'T YOU DARE tell me I can't talk about evolution to the kids because I might "unduly influence their decisions because I'm in a position of authority" DON'T YOU DARE. The whole POINT of these kids getting an education is so they don't blindly accept what they are told. THAT IS THE POINT. I'm not telling them to drop all their beliefs and side w/me. And the kids know that. Hell they even stood up to Ms. Scott trying to say I couldn't talk about this. I'm asking them to question their reality, not force them to accept mine (although that'd be a killer side effect hehe).

But if she even tries that again I will come down so hard that she won't KNOW what hit her. I'm officially making evolution part of my courses. I'll just have to teach social darwinism in all my classes in order to justify it. hehe. (In world history that's a no-brainer, I'll have to think about how to do it with economics. haha)

But all I know is these kids HAVE to question what they're told, and right now the teachers are just treating them like sheep and not teaching them to be CRITICAL THINKERS as in THINK and QUESTION what they are told, be it by me, another teacher, the news, or the KING JAMES BIBLE. I mean am I telling them it is all lies (whether or not I believe that is a different story)? NO. What I am telling them is they have to listen to what is out there, they need to have open minds and then they make their choice. Not just blindly accepting something because it is in the bible, I mean COME ON that's how we get things like the crusades and hate groups.

HATE IS WRONG PEOPLE!!! YOU KIDS SHOULD KNOW THIS FIRST HAND AND YET YOU TURN AROUND AND DISH IT OUT TO THE OTHER PEOPLE. DON'T LET THOSE AT THE TOP KEEP YOU DOWN! RISE UP AND CLAIM WHAT IS YOURS!!!!!

Ok now I'm getting loopy in this post, but I am just soooooo full of emotion that I need to let it out in crazy ways. I'm sure I'll come back to this post and be like "woah woman, calm down"

Ok... all done.

on a different note, BSG TOMORROW!!!!!!!! And I have a place to watch it live w/out paying for cable for a few months :D

The Wire

Classic.

Two of the street-level cops are at the movies with their girlfriends and when they walk out they run into a couple of the street-level drug dealers that they try and arrest every so often. AWKWARD!!! And awesome. I mean what the hell would you do if the cop and the person they have tried to arrest run into each other in a public space? Weird.

The Wire is one of the best shows ever. It is extremely (possibly exceedingly) realistic as far as I can tell. It is super detail oriented and moves forward very slowly and incorporates as many different perspectives as possible. I love how politics plays into the crime-solving. I also like how realistic the solutions are. They don't resort to some crazy technology that doesn't exist.

The show though is almost too realistic because it is hard as shit to follow sometimes. There are a ton of people, a ton of interests, and it can get very confusing if you miss the smallest detail. So there is relatively little multitasking I can do while watching the show, and instead I have to watch it really closely.

An official 'hearing'

I got to attend my first official (tape recorded) hearing. An outside person came in and had to receive 'official statements' in regards to an incident that took place between two of my students (though the incident occurred in another teacher's class). The student (Ricardo) had received 10 days suspension and the family was challenging that decision.

The situation: In math class two female students were arguing over a chair while a math test was being passed out. When Ricardo received his test he turned to them and asked them to be quiet (unsure what the tone or actual words used were). The girl (a student who is also in my 4th period class and who has a history of really not getting along w/Ricardo) got really angry and began yelling at him to stay out of her business, and she eventually walked over to him continuing to yell and began poking him and sticking her finger in his face. He eventually stood up and they began yelling at each other, without stopping/listening to the teacher. The director then walked in and broke up the fight telling the students to walk to her office. Ricardo turned and began walked to the front of the room, and at this point TaVon balled up her fists and began attempting to attack Ricardo rather wildly. The director stepped in between and got hit by TaVon, and Ricardo left the room and headed to the office. Both students received 10 days suspension.

Background: Both students have a history of 'being in each other's business' and it has been very hard to get them to stop. While it has not come to physical blows in my room, TaVon has thrown Ricardo's backpack across the room, and there is a general craziness between them that can be very very annoying. Now Ricardo is very smart and levelheaded and he uses these two abilities for 'evil' sometimes by pushing people's buttons who he knows are going to explode and possibly get in trouble while he won't. That being said, nothing he has ever done or said in my presence has warranted the outbursts that TaVon has had. She also has a history of completely unacceptable behavior and the director does not give her a harsh enough punishment. If a boy had done what TaVon had done in the incident above they probably would have been expelled. And the fact that they both got 10 days seems ridiculous to me.

The Hearing: Because the sentence was so harsh for Ricardo and right at the end of the advisory (which would probably affect his grades), his mom called for an official hearing to have the decision reviewed. Ms. Riley walked into my room that morning and asked if I would come in and be a witness, although I had not seen what had officially happened. She wanted me to be there to explain their history of bad relations. But the fact was that I disagreed w/the decision so I wasn't really sure what to do/say, because I didn't want to not back my boss, but I also did not agree w/what she did at all. So the arbiter came in and began asking everyone questions, and I basically didn't say anything because they had never actually fought in my room and that was all he wanted to know. In the end, Ricardo's sentence was brought down to 3 days. It seemed like there was a lot of animosity and stuff between the social worker who was there and Ms. Riley, though it was really the social worker's tone that was kind of uncalled for. But in the end I think Ms. Riley made a bad call, and that TaVon should potentially be expelled if her behavior doesn't change, because her behavior has gotten out of control and she needs to be somewhere else.

Anyways it was an interesting experience to be in an actual 'hearing.' Ricardo is one of my favorite students because he is very bright and someone who seems to love to learn for the sake of learning (to some extent) and is also an extremely motivated person who knows his goals are only attainable through hard work on many different fronts and is willing to put in that work. He is also very smart, scoring advanced on his many standardized tests. I want to help him w/the SATs, because I believe that if he gets a good score on a national scale, that he can go wherever he wants for college (combined w/his continued excellence in school and football). He also seems amenable to that help, so I will have to figure out how I can help him, maybe find a SAT prep course that he can take if he is willing with someone who actually knows what they are talking about.

First 'sick day'

So today I decided to call in and use one of my sick days. This is officially the first day that I have missed (although I had to go to 2 social studies meetings making me miss my 4th period class, and once I left at like 1:30 the day before Winter Break when I didn't have any kids and I needed to pack/leave). Admittedly I am not sick. But I was really really tired, and yesterday did not go well.

The classes themselves actually went fine. No better or worse than any other class, but for the first 2 period they were pretty laid back, so no real problems. The day started out on a sour note though because apparently on Wednesday afternoon (after I had left to go to the social studies department chair meeting) things got out of hand in the auditorium (where the kids had been moved due to the flood) and the teachers didn't do shit to stop the students from acting like wild animals. So Ms. Riley sat us all down and gave us a 'talk' which I think was a good idea but she misinterpreted what people were up to. She said that people clearly didn't support her, but I think teachers were just being lazy and didn't want to take on extra responsibilities during the 'crisis situation.' As I've seen before, the teachers here are all about doing 'just what I have to.' And I know that that is partly because they have been here for a long time, but good lord I can't stand the teachers on this staff (minus Ms. Guo, the math teacher - I like her a lot). And that's the reason I can't stay in the long run (although it sounds like a lot of them might leave at the end of this year... so maybe I should stay in the hopes that I can help out in the hiring process and get some more youngins up in here to help me out).

Now of course the teachers were getting very defensive instead of just listening to Ms. Riley, so that made people mad. They acted just like the students, I mean seriously. So that wasn't good.

The next bad thing was Jonathan, the student I am trying to help get his act together, who was the main wild student who was not controlled. So that was very disappointing.

As I said, my first two periods went fine. And it wasn't until lunch and my free third period that things began to unravel. During lunch, there were a TON of students in my room. And once again they were acting like little asses. Especially Jonathan. Every 3rd word out of his mouth was a swear word (and I have NEVER heard things like that from him before, he is usually fairly respectful even if he is more on the playful side). And Antonio, the biggest 9th grade hoodlum ever, was the one behind it. His very presence makes other boys act crazy. We have been trying to get rid of him (usually I'm against that, but good lord the boy HAS to go), but so far no good. So during lunch I was just getting angrier and angrier.

Then during my planning period I had to watch someone else's class because the teacher had to go pick up her daughter. That part wasn't so bad, but it was the 9th graders and they were acting crazy and at that point I didn't want to deal with them so I just planned for my 4th period and let them sit and talk. I mean it wasn't like I had been warned that I would have to do that so I didn't feel obligated to try and make them do work. They always tell me 'we don't have work' anyways and I simply didn't feel like arguing. Some of the kids did do work, and it wasn't too bad having them there.

What was actually the most frustrating thing was that I wanted to make copies of my powerpoint presentation and the bookwork that the students were going to do. I went to the copier and it jammed up 5 times in a row. So I got 2 full copies out of that. Then I tried to just print them with my printer in my room, but that printer is awful, it printed one page and stopped. Then I tried printing it out on the laser printer in the formerly flooded room, and that one didn't work. Then I tried room 201, but there was a meeting in there so I couldn't use that printer. Once the meeting was over I tried, but it also wasn't working. So then I asked Ms. Riley if I could use her printer and so finally after 5 minutes I got my work printed JUST as the bell rang for 3rd period to get out. (During that time the 3rd period teacher came back and collected her students.)

So that was super frustrating, I was going to bust some copy machines and printers after that. Like literally take them out Office Space style. So I was starting to lose it. 4th period was ok, Ricardo can be very draining, but he is a good kid and very smart. He is always asking for attention and information and for me to do this and do that, and a lot of times I will because it isn't that much, but it adds up. So when the bell rang, it took me 10 minutes to get out of there today. Which is probably the earliest I have left in a loooooong time. I mean I usually stay at least 30 minutes if not much longer.

So last night I thought about it for a while and concluded that I really didn't want to go to work today, I wanted to rest and get some grading done, and that's what I am going to do. I think based on how I am feeling this was a very good decision. Yay sick days!

First fires... then floods. What's next?

*Ok so now I'm knocking on wood... A LOT.*

So we had a flood on the 2nd floor today. Took up one of the hallways completely and two rooms. The steam pipes had burst and the 2nd floor was incredibly hot and stinky. We were unable to have our classes on the floor so we had to have class in the cafeteria, which was a little nuts. (Gives open spaces a whole new meaning...). Then we couldn't even hold classes up there after lunch when all the water had been vacuumed up because of air quality problems (oh mold... how the heck do you grow so freakin fast?). Hopefully we can have our rooms back tomorrow... but who knows?

Luckily my room wasn't touched, but the water was getting close (about 5 feet away), so that is NOT GOOD. No keeping electronics near the walls or on the floors.

It is good they are knocking down the building, but we still don't know what is going to happen next. Apparently the comprehensive regular school is going to Fletcher Johnson, (a school that was closed because the building sucked...) until they build the new school. That could take YEARS! I could be done teaching by the time the new school is built. I don't know if I can wait. A lot of teachers (and I mean a LOT) want to transfer... but where to? If we are all transferring then the likelihood of me finding another school that isn't a charter in DC becomes a lot lower. And while I don't hate all charters... I can't conceive of working for one. Mainly because I have to believe in the public system (despite it's myriad of problems) and I don't believe charter schools are the answer, so I can't give up on my principles and start working for one.

Anyways... good riddance to the building, but hello uncertainty for next year!

Thank you J.K. Rowling, Thank you.

This is a Harry Potter love-fest. You do not have to read it if you have no interest in Harry Potter.

So I just finished the audiobook version of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (which will make it only the 2nd time I have read/heard the book all the way through). It was AMAZING. I think I cried about 7 or 8 times while listening to it, which was difficult because sometimes I was listening in public (like in my car on the way to work, or at the gym). The book was so fantastic to hear that now I am tempted to get the other 6 and listen to them all. This will be quite a project though since book 7 (the 2nd longest book) clocked in at about 21 hours listening time. But WOW. That woman is amazing. What would I ever have done w/out her? W/out Harry Potter? I don't know. I would have been missing something my whole life and never known what it was. But now it is over again! What a startling sense of loss. Today actually on Steven Leavitt's blog (the economist who co-wrote Freakonomics) he posted about the same thing: what do you do w/yourself now that Harry Potter is over? How does life keep going on? It sounds dramatic, but Harry Potter really filled my life with something special. And it is shocking that it is over, it was shocking in August, and it is shocking again. I have all 7 books with me in DC... but I can't just keep re-reading them forever. (well yes I can actually and I'm sure this is not the last time I'll read all the Harry Potter books, especially with the movies coming out - THANK GOD!)

Anyways I just want to reiterate my thanks to Mrs. J.K. Rowling, the wonderful wonderful woman who has given such a big gift to me and all other readers of Harry Potter. I cannot recommend it enough to the few who haven't read it, both young and old. The books are amazing, there is no way around it.

I am excited to see what she will write next, I hope she continues to create fantastic worlds for us to enter and explore.

Ok I can't stop gushing... one more story:
When I bought the 7th Harry Potter book I was the 4th in line at Barnes and Nobles in Georgetown. This meant I was in the first wave to get the book, since there were approximately 6 cashiers. I had paid an large amount in the parking lot across the street to be able to park there so I could get home in minutes. It is amazing how fast I drove (15 minutes with intense post-midnight traffic from Georgetown to Columbia Heights including walking time and parking.... so much for traffic laws...). And the whole time I could not stop myself from touching the book (petting it like a dog or something) and even kissing it. It was a compulsion. I also called my great friend and co-HP lover Danit to tell her how happy I was to have the book and how it had a power over me. She said I was nuts, but when she got the book a few days later she said she completely understood! There was something truly magical about this book and hearing the story for the second time (at a more measured pace instead of the 12 hours that I completed in one sitting (12:15 AM to 12:15 PM exactly) - no bathroom breaks, who can break for HP. I mean seriously!). And it's just so amazing.

Ok I could keep going for another hour but I will finally cut this post off.

YAAAAAAY HARRY POTTER!!!!!! (and yay Snape! my other favorite character from the beginning, and YES YALL I WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG, NEVER WAVERED AND NEVER DOUBTED LETS JUST KEEP THAT VERY CLEAR)

3 Fires... 7 days

Yeah I think that says it all. We had a fire last week, a fire Monday and a fire today. This has basically meant 2nd and 4th period haven't done work in like a week. To add to that they had predicted a huge storm on Friday and there was ice everywhere BUT DC, but nonetheless about 1/2 the kids were out if not more.

So yeah my US Govt. class has been moving forward in 1st period but everyone else is stagnant.

On top of that, on this coming Friday we have parent teacher conferences, which aren't a waste of time but are being held from 12-7 so no class once again. And I mean tops I have had 12 parents come in, and now that I have fewer students I doubt that I'll get as many. But I am calling several parents each day leading up to it in order to maybe get them to show.

Fire!

There was a pretty big fire on the 6th floor of the building today in the janitors closet, they actually used the sprinklers up there apparently. I didn't see or smell anything so I have no idea what happened. But apparently the teacher who found the fire said that he could tell from behind the door that he could feel the heat, but the door was still locked. So either a kid pushed something under the door to light the fire (i.e, firecrackers) or chemicals just caught on their own somehow behind a locked door.

The teacher who pulled the fire alarm noticed that nothing happened when he did. So basically the fire alarms in our building were no longer working. (They are hopefully working now... since it would be illegal I'm pretty sure to have students in a building with no working fire alarm. I heard about the fire first from students who ran around yelling "there's a fire there's a fire!" Then finally on the PA system they announced that we should go down to the ground floor.

After that they told us to all go outside, and it was pouring rain and freakishly cold so me and Liz and Ms. Sanchez sat in my car to at least keep out of the rain. We were there for like 40 minutes or so I think, not sure. About 3/4+ of the students left during this time.

Afterwards, when they let the remaining few students back in we went into the auditorium and were eventually given an announcement that all the students were to go to the cafeteria to finish lunch (since that is when the fire started). Then they were eventually brought back to the auditorium at 1:30. After that we just had to sit in the auditorium until 3:15. Nothing happened, nothing was going on, we just sat in the auditorium and nobody could leave. Big fucking waste of time.

Apparently there were legal reasons for not just excusing the students and going home ourselves, but I have a hard time imagining what they could be for students who are 15 and up.

Anyways at least only 1 of my periods was wasted and not two.

Rant

First off 10 minutes have passed and I have 3 students out of 15. Not making me happy.

Secondly, we will never have a productive meeting with these teachers. Apparently I do need to go to a school where people think more like I do about what fucking RIGOR is. And maybe the fact that we need to try and standardize it a bit so we can know what it is, because this staff clearly doesn't know much about it. FUCK THEM I can't work here forever, a few years and only if we get a new staff who are young and/or progressive and/or open minded along the way.

In other sad news I cast my ballot for a candidate who got creamed here in DC. I guess I knew that would happen, but DAMN IT PEOPLE VOTE HILLARY! She's the one I tell you. The more I think about it the more I support her. Barack will be fine if he wins... but I think Hillary will be stronger. And Barack better start talking about more than just hope soon and really talk about his positions on the issues or I am going to lose my mind.

Ok time to go... I'm in a bad mood already. Stupid Wednesday.

My day today

On a random note, a mom yelled at me today over the phone. She said she was coming here to talk to me, but maybe she won't. She's mad at me for failing her child for the 2nd advisory (though I let her pass the class overall) w/out apparently informing her of the fact that her child was failing. This is probably true, so I decided to just back down since I had no real proof that I had told her her daughter was failing. THAT BEING SAID he daughter failed 3 out of 4 classes (the 4th being PE) that advisory so maybe instead of yelling at me she should yell at her damn daughter. But what I learned is that I need to update parents regularly and not necessarily by phone (which is really hard and ridiculously time consuming). Other teachers sent out regular notices by mail (which doesn't cost anything since the school pays for postage). So I'm going to come up w/a template and then I can just make copies and send it out to the children's parents when they're failing. That should work.

Otherwise 4th period went really well today. We are working on creating thesis statements for history papers (which can be really really hard depending on the topic) and coming up w/the whole "so what" issue. The kids are doing good jobs for the first attempt and tomorrow we will work on writing the rest of the essay. They'll do rough drafts over the weekend and have to have edited it once themselves then we'll edit it again in class and then they'll write their final drafts as homework! yipeeeee things are looking good in one class at least. Also I had to implement the 'point system' in my 11th grade class starting tomorrow. I hate the point system it is so childish, but it works, there is no doubt about that. So they'll get the point system. If that doesn't stop them the next step is a seating chart. After that, notices will be sent home with alarming regularity, and the worst offenders parents will be called. In my 12th grade class we worked on writing outlines, it is surprising how few of them they've ever done, half the kids didn't really know how to write one at all, and only knew some bizarre format for English that wasn't really an outline but more like 'things every english paper needs to cover.' Anyways, that seems to have helped them a bit I hope (as long as they actually USE the outlines of course). Here's hopin...

Benefits and Drawbacks to being a "small learning community"

Now in general small learning communities are a truly great idea. That being said there are some things that can get really annoying about them, so I'm going to list some of the pros and cons as I see them.

Pros

1. Students and teachers really get to know each other
• Aside from the obvious benefits this can also lead to greater overall control of the student body because everyone knows everyone (pretty much).
• This means students are less likely to slip through the cracks
• It is really easy to catch students skipping, etc.
  
2. Collaboration becomes far easier in the core subjects because students can be grouped together allowing classes to be coordinated
3. Classes tend to be smaller
4. Students get more personalized attention
5. I am the (un)official chair of the Social Studies department*(see note)
   

Cons

1. A lot of times fewer classes can be offered (the solution here is to have several small learning communities in a larger school building together so that there can be cross pollination when it comes to electives)
2. Teachers have to teach multiple classes (What I mean here is that I teach 3 different classes across 3 different periods, unlike my friend who only had to teach one class three different times last semester)
3. I have to be on multiple committees (I am on the recruitment and awards committees - I was assigned them)
4. Less able to have sports teams and clubs (this can also be solved by having multiple small learning communities grouped together into larger groups overall)

*Note: I went to a social studies committee chair meeting yesterday afternoon and it was actually pretty cool because it wasn't actually professional development. Instead we were talking to the head of social studies in DC and he was asking questions about how we should test students, how to get kids from middle school to high school, and other interesting stuff like that. A lot of the department chairs were really cool and it is a meeting that I would like to go to again if possible and something that I would like to participate more in if possible. This might be the way to get my whole wanting to be involved with policy thing out while still being in the classroom. Maybe I want to try and become a department chair at a larger high school or something (though I'm sure that would have plenty of drawbacks)

Trip to see Sweeney Todd

So I drove up to Pittsburgh yesterday for my (semi-psychotic) trip to see the 2005 traveling Broadway version of Sweeny Todd. I am very glad that I went because the show itself was fantastic and I had a great seat. I stayed at a hotel about 3 blocks away making it easy walking distance. I didn't really do anything aside from drive up to Pittsburgh (approx. 4 hours), find the place the show was playing, pick up my ticket, find a hotel, get settled and change for the show, and then go to the show.

I listened to the 7th book of Harry Potter on tape for my drive (which was fantastic! I now have about 13 hours left... ok that's a lot haha - the whole thing is about 21 hours long!). Listening to the tape is great because you can really really picture what is going on, it is almost like watching an epic movie. The narrator is wonderful, I had heard great things, but now I have seen (or heard I suppose is a better word) the light.

The show was great. I already knew what to expect in terms of the production. The 2005 revival is special because all the characters play the orchestral instruments on stage (meaning none of them leave the stage and there is no orchestra or chorus since the characters sing that as well). I think all in all there were about 9 people... Fogg being the only one who only had a tiny speaking role and spent the rest of the time playing the stand up base. Anthony and Johanna played the Cello, Tobi played the violin, Pirelli (played by a woman) played the acordian, The Beadle played the piano (primarily), The Judge played the trumpet, the beggar woman played the clarinet (primarily), Mrs. Lovett played the bells and the tuba, and Sweeney played the trumpet and the bells. This means that the sound is not nearly as loud and bombastic as the original staging (which is a little disappointing since I do love the spectacle) and on the whole the production is mostly about the music and the songs (there were no set changes, very few props, and perhaps the only slightly disappointing part, no chute/oven). But all in all the show was great, and the cast was truly excellent. I would adore to see the original version of the show as well someday, with the huge chorus, full production and gigantic orchestra, since in the end that is more my style. But on the whole it was a really good show. Some of the people in the traveling cast were from the 2005 revival, and the woman who played Mrs. Lovett had actually done it on Broadway opposite the original Sweeney! Needless to say, she was most excellent and had a fantastic voice for the part. They kind of skipped over doing the accents, but I don't really care about that. The only thing close to a complaint I might have had was that it wasn't louder... I've grown accustomed to Sweeney blasting out my ears... but I think that's really just an extremely minor thing haha, since it wasn't like they were doing anything wrong. It was really a top notch production.

Pittsburgh on the other hand is an absolutely horrible place. I can't imagine living there, it seems awful. I'm sure there are good parts outside of where I was (downtown) but it certainly didn't seem like there was much. Thank goodness I didn't end up teaching in a city like that, it would be unbearable. Even the people seemed a little strange and backwards. Gross gross city.

Ok now I have to get to grading, I promised all of my students full progress reports, and some of them really need to see them in order to be shocked into doing more work by seeing how bad their grades are already.

Insight

Over the past week I've been spending more time with friends and meeting their friends. One of the things that this has prompted is me having to answer the question "what are your plans?" and "do you want to teach as your career?" This has forced me to think a bit about that answer. It used to be that I was dead set on going to law school in order to go into education policy. But the more time I spend in the classroom the more it seems to be the place I belong. I'm comfortable there, I feel most at ease and in my element. Going into policy or law school might not be completely out of my element, but I tend to get nervous and get things like performance anxiety. Teaching has forced a lot of that out of me. I rarely get nervous public speaking now, and even today I played the piano with other people in the room (it was not a performance, but I didn't used to be able to even play with other people around). That is beginning to change. And I feel like it is changing because this is what I'm supposed to be doing. What if policy doesn't really change anything? I hate working in offices and doing research papers without feeling like I am actually changing things. Maybe I'm supposed to be in the classroom, maybe that's my role.

I'm going to articulate this better later, now I have to start showing Blood Diamond for the kiddies.

Reason to close the building #1,267

The "Tower of Power" (or the Tower of Terror as I like to call it) is going to be demolished. Possibly even as early as this summer. It will be knocked down so that a new school can be built for Ward 7 (Woodson is the only HS in Ward 7, unlike Anacostia which has 2).

Now aside from the lack of ability to control the tower (too many staircases for kids to run and hide in, needing a security guard on each of the 7 floors at all times -and usually needing 2 per floor to keep it actually monitored - which of course has never and will never happen), having kids walk up 7 flights of stairs to class in 4 minutes or less after lunch, the obvious fact that it is hideous, the whole building only having a few exits to escape from a fire, etc. etc. we have YET another reason to close the building.

Over the weekend the pipes burst on the 4th floor. Now apparently this is a common occurrence. Last year the school was forced to relocate for 2 weeks to another school due to massive amounts of flooding (although apparently the school they used before is now being used by a charter so there isn't anywhere for Woodson to go if we need to be moved). You can imagine how moving to another building affects attendance (the students are even less likely to show). Luckily for me, my room did not sustain any damage (although rooms around the corner from me did. The 2nd and 3rd floor (B&F basically) were hit the hardest. So now I will have to be very careful in where I put things in the room in case a pipe bursts above or (heaven forbid) in my room. 4 classrooms had to be closed for the day, since there is too much standing water, materials were obviously destroyed in some rooms - including a few computers, but the 2nd floor was pretty much cleaned up when I arrived (apparently it took over 14 hours to do that). So there ya go, yet another reason why this crappy building needs to be torn down and a new one put in its place.

Of course that does leave the question that everyone has been asking... where do we go while they build the new building?...